Ranking Alabama football's ceremonial first pitches, and why are so many so terrible? | Goodbread (2024)

Dallas Turner picked the perfect time to sail a baseball over the catcher's head. The former Alabama football linebacker was invited to throw out the ceremonial first pitch at a Minnesota Twins game this week, along with fellow Minnesota Vikings first-round draft pick J.J. McCarthy, and promptly threw so wildly that his target, Twins assistant coach Tommy Watkins, couldn't lay a glove on it.

Then McCarthy, the Vikings' future at the quarterback position, took the mound and did the very same thing. Turner had to be wondering where that throw was in the Rose Bowl when McCarthy fired three touchdown passes for Michigan to knock the Crimson Tide out of the College Football Playoff. But at least nobody will remember Turner's pitch. Not after the Vikings' QUARTERBACK OF THE FUTURE bounced one so far wide of home plate it went straight to the backstop. One can just imagine the text message from Vikings PR staff to Twins PR.

"Eh, any chance you could keep that off the Twins social channels?"

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Turner and McCarthy aren't alone, at least. Horrifically wild ceremonial first pitches are commonplace. A Chicago White Sox employee got to throw one once, and hit a cameramen in the camera. A high school pitcher, in the ultimate embarrassment before a Red Sox game, hit a cameraman, umm, somewhere else. Rapper 50 cent, before a Mets game, got discredited with one of the worst first pitches of all time. Basketball legend Michael Jordan, who actually played minor league baseball, once sailed one to the backstop. And UFC martial arts legend Conor McGregor, plenty used to throwing jabs, can't throw a lick with a baseball.

I find this phenomenon a bit baffling, because throwing a baseball in a straight line just isn't that difficult.

I'm not talking about throwing an actual strike here. From the top of a mound and 60-plus feet away, firing a pitch that an umpire would call a strike isn't easy for anyone who's not a pitcher. Throwing one close enough to the catcher's vicinity that it can at least be caught without endangering bystanders, however, shouldn't be hard for anyone with a modicum of athleticism. Any of the aforementioned athletes have far more coordination than is necessary.

And yet, first pitches continue to be uncorked in seemingly every direction but the right one. Colorado football coach and former MLB outfielder Deion Sanders recently said that hitting a baseball is the hardest thing to do in sports. Throwing one isn't.

Nor is finding 11 examples of Alabama players and coaches giving it a shot, ranked from best to worst:

1) Topping the list is former UA coach Nick Saban, age 60 at the time, firing a strike while wearing dress shoes to get a 2010 Alabama game started.

2) Former UA running back Najee Harris put one over the plate, or close enough, at a San Francisco Giants home game three years ago.

3) Here's current Alabama quarterback Jalen Milroe showing how easy it is before a UA game in April.

4) Don't let anyone tell you throwing the ball over the plate is too hard for a 350-pound lineman. Former Alabama offensive lineman and Chargers first-round pick D.J. Fluker put that theory to rest.

5) Current UA coach Kalen DeBoer got his chance to throw a first pitch in May and did just fine. But he's a former college baseball player; this should be expected.

6) Former UA defensive tackle Da'Ron Payne acquitted himself very well at a 2018 Birmingham Barons game with a pitch almost close enough to swing at.

7) Former UA tight end O.J. Howard, and Tampa Bay Buccaneer, was a little wild with a first pitch at a 2017 Rays game, but his catcher didn't help him much with a weak back-handed stab.

8) Former UA cornerback and Detroit Lions first-round pick Terrion Arnold bounced one several feet in front of the plate before a Detroit Tigers game, but at least it went straight to the catcher.

9) Former UA running back, and Green Bay Packer, Eddie Lacy threw a first pitch way high at a Brewers game, but at least he put it in the glove.

10) Former UA cornerback and Denver Broncos first-round pick Patrick Surtain put one pretty much on the money at a Colorado Rockies home game three years ago, but he loses points for distance by throwing in front of the mound and to a target standing on the lip of the infield grass.

11) Sorry, Dallas. It is what it is.

Tuscaloosa News columnist Chase Goodbread is also the weekly co-host of Crimson Cover TV on WVUA-23. Reach him at cgoodbread@gannett.com. Follow on X.com @chasegoodbread.

This article originally appeared on The Tuscaloosa News: Alabama ceremonial first pitches have a new worst from Dallas Turner